From the stay-at-home mom with a master's degree

October 21, 2015

Dear pregnant career-woman me,

First of all, you are gorgeous! And you are about to embark on the best adventure yet – second only to the one you started after saying “I do” to your man. But you are scared. You don’t know any stay-at-home moms (SAHMs – you’ll know this acronym soon!) who have your level of education and career orientation, and, ironically, this new job intimidates you. Are you throwing away all those years of study and work? Is your brain going to turn to mush? Will you end up eating ramen noodles for every meal because you must choose between buying groceries and paying the electric bill?

Yes, I know about your 6-month plan to see if the SAHM thing works for you…and for your family income situation. I’m here to tell you that you have no idea what is coming. You cannot begin to fathom how intelligent and fun your little one is going to be, and that you won’t miss office politics or accolades because of the joy you get out of the freedom of creating and owning your schedule.

In addition, and this is very important for you to understand, you don’t need the extra paycheck. Everyone will tell you that you do. They will think it’s crazy for a family of three to try to survive on your husband’s $35,000 salary. But you, my sweet former self, only need more money if you don’t live by discipline and faith. You know God has called you to stay home with your baby, and He will honor your obedience. Keep obeying, trusting, and tithing, and you will see Him do exactly what Malachi 3:10 says: Pour out more blessing than you can handle! It will be a testimony to His faithfulness, and you’ll have abundant opportunities to share about that with others.

By the end of the first year, you will own a house, be able to buy organic groceries, and even go on a small vacation. You won’t care that you could only buy your child one Christmas gift, because you made the other gifts and so many, many memories. Your budgeting muscles will be so toned you’ll look like Mr. Universe (metaphorically)!

By year two, you’ll have numerous friends who are educated career women who chose to be SAHMs and trust God to provide. You’ll have great conversations with these friends and be growing in ways you never could have had you continued to depend on yourself, your abilities, and your own resources.

So calm down with the hoarding of resources, the worrying about your social schedule, the future gaps in your resume. Not only won’t these matter to you, they won’t even make sense to you after your paradigms shift with this baby. When you look back at the first few years, you’ll rather have been directly shaping your child than making money that – let’s be honest – you guys would waste on going out to eat or toys you don’t have room for. Just keep repeating this mantra:

Trust God from the bottom of your heart;
    don’t try to figure out everything on your own.
Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go;
    he’s the one who will keep you on track.
Proverbs 3:5-6 (MSG)

You’re going to be a great mom. And you’re going to love it.


You in a few years

P.S. Consign those dresses and dress slacks with the elastic waists ASAP! You won’t need them in your next pregnancy, and you will need the money you can get from them.