From a wife of 8 years

September 18, 2015

Dear freshly-broken-up-with teenage me,

It hurts to write this letter. Even decades later, I can still feel the pangs of loneliness that blindside you/me as the guy you thought was your forever love distances himself further and further. And, truth be known, it’s a bit embarrassing now to think of how you/I acted throughout this breakup. Desperation is a powerful motivator and an awful dictator.

Let me start by reassuring you that you do meet your real forever love. In 10 years, you’ll be married to him; in 15 years, you’ll have had your first child with him. (Oh yeah, you become a mom, even though you swore you never would. Spoiler alert: It’s amazing!)

Here’s what you need to know now: You are worth more than you’re letting yourself believe. You have lowered your value to drastic depths, placing yourself on clearance so maybe, just maybe, he’ll toss you in his shopping basket between the bottle of Mountain Dew and a pack of Juicy Fruit. But 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 is very clear that you have worth to God: You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Maybe you missed that first part, the part that says you are not your own. You belong to your Savior and Redeemer! You are the home of the Holy Spirit. You are beloved. Swim in that truth. 

Granted, this does not make the pain any less. It is bitter and ugly, and you just want it to end. You are grieving, and you got really stuck in the bargaining stage. So keep immersing yourself in truth when the ache is overwhelming, reading those scriptures you looked up. One will even become your life verse: Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul. (Psalm 143:8)

I’m not going to give you a shortcut, because you need to go through this. You need this to have compassion and empathy, to not return to this place. And none of this will be wasted.

By the way, I’m proud of you. You don’t know what you’re doing, but you’re doing your best. The light will be turned back on soon, and it will be brighter than ever before.


Your Future Self